Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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