so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
