I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
