I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
