its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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