Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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