Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
