Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
