Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
