drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You were trust falling into bushes
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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