ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
