My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
