The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
