Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
