3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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