too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
