Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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