I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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