Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
