I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize