Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
