Do you still have your period?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
