I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
4 words: hood of his car
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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