Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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