It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
