question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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