we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
