Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
