You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
