after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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