Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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