he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
