i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
