Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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