nut hugger
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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