me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
