No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
