Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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