Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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