uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
