dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
