you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He's on the porch naked. Help.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
