Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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