i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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