How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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