I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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