We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
