take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
