sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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