I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
