We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
