he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
