So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
