just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
