Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
